E-nough:  occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations.

Enough is such a peculiar looking word.  It’s one of those words I stumbled over as a child. An avid and highly proficient reader, I knew its meaning from the context in books. But until I had heard the word spoken in conjunction with seeing it in written form, I wasn’t sure how the word sounded.

That wasn’t my only struggle with “enough.”

In a world where often it seems that people are valued for their performance- for their contributions- I have worried throughout my life about doing “enough” or being “enough.”

As a performer I have rarely felt prepared “enough.”

As a compulsive giver, I have often shared more than I could afford, in an effort to present an offering worthy “enough.”

As a sugar addict and stress-eater, for years I have had trouble knowing when enough is…enough.

When I was in my teens, I aquired a dizzying array of trophies from my various competitive pursuits. My parents bought shelves and filled the music room with evidence of my success. It was much more than enough. Years later they packed up to move to another state. We wondered what to do with the relics of my earlier successes. What does one do with molded plastic and chiseled stone that takes up space shouting “I did something once!”

Enough.

We dumped them in boxes and took them to a charity, hoping they might be recycled into something…useful.

Confession: I still struggle with enough.

At times I exhaust myself trying to do too much for too many.

I often eat more than is needed to satisfy hunger.

I dream about doing something, becoming someone who is somehow more

worthy than I am.

But sometimes….when I sit quietly and read a book, or watch the changing cloud patterns in the sky, or listen intently to beautiful music, or laugh as my grown up children recall favorite childhood memories around the dinner table….my heart stops striving.  I remember that life is a gift, and this present moment is

Enough.